Why are my inner thoughts in English ?
My native language is Arabic with a Tunisian dialect which is a mixture of Berber, Arabic and French word . Yet, I always find myself communicating and even thinking in English.
I cannot deny that my native language is very beautiful. In fact, most of the beautiful books i read are written in Arabic but for me it is not an easy language to verbally communicate with ( thinking of Kais Said ). I find it easier to transfer my thoughts into English words, which probably explains why it’s simpler for me to have international friends or talk with English speaking people.
Let’s imagine I’m talking to my boyfriend and saying : “I want you”, an expression that seems completely normal and innocent in English. If i ever try to say it in Arabic it would sound very sexualized! “nheb *****” ?! I’m also still trying to understand why I find it so cheesy to express love in my Tunisian dialect. If my boyfriend ever says “ Ya taw2m rouhi , ya 7bibet 9albi , ya 3omri” I would make fun of it and think that it is disgusting but if he says “my soulmate, my sweetheart, my life” which is exactly the same, I would think of it as the cutest thing ever.
To contextualize what was written above, I believe that each language gives us a different personality, for example;
In Arabic, I’m a shy dyslexic person who chooses her words wisely but fails to make a decent conversation. I usually prepare my conversations in advance and end up saying a different thing.
In French, I’m a wise person who opens her mouth only at things that matter, probably because i spend too much time worrying about making mistakes and being judged.
In English, I’m that bold ass girl who dares to speak out her mind and says whatever the fuck she wants, that is why my inner thoughts are usually in English.
The fact that some people choose to express themselves in English or any other language different than their native one, does not make of them some arrogant and educated wannabes .It simply allows them to express their feeling and thoughts more naturally and embrace the personality that fits them best.
